It's His Turn

I have been in love with my husband for 15 years and married to him for 10 of those years.  Many of my own "firsts" can be dated back to around the time our relationship began.  The first year of my career, my first completely new car, and even my first attempt at running all occurred about the same time this seemingly tough guy first caught my eye.  We have known each other since we were kids, but it wasn't until much later into adulthood when we actually started seeing each other as something other than platonic former high school buddies.  Back in those early days together, I was overweight (yes, more than I am now) and was intensely involved in a love affair with pepperoni pizza and Starbucks frappuccinos.  My husband, on the other hand, has been a dedicated gym rat since his early teens.  He is one of those old school original health nuts that shuns all the new age fitness fads and prefers the smelly funk of a weight room any day.  Looking back, it seems ironic that a weightlifting fitness fanatic fell for a chubby chic without a fitness clue.  He was a protein shake carrying workout guru and I was a wannabe feminist, too afraid to sweat out a good hair day.  We evolved, thank goodness, and now we both follow an active lifestyle that will hopefully rub off on our children as well.

Juggling jobs, social outings and workout sessions has become trickier since the kids have come along.  When my boys were babies, we took turns with our respective workouts.  While hubby and the babies were still asleep, I would wake up at the butt crack of dawn on the weekends to get a run completed before the oppressive sun made the temps unbearable.  Upon my return home, hubby and I would switch places and he would head out to the gym for his own private time.  These days we can take the kids with us to workout excursions if they are so inclined.  Child care is not nearly as stressful as it was back in those early days but we still have to schedule our workouts ahead of time until the boys are more mature.  I still usually workout during the early morning hours and he prefers gym time later in the evening.

I took you down this nostalgic stroll on Memory Lane because a new wrinkle has been added to the fold.  Hubby is now a new runner and cyclist.  Although I recognize the symptoms, it is still hard to believe he caught the running and cycling bug like so many others.  When he first spotted his most recent pair of running shoes, he got all giddy in the store as if he'd just eyed his first big boy train set.  When he was shopping for his bike, he courted it the same way he courted me in the early days of our relationship.  Now that he has all his shiny new gear, he handles the stuff with kid gloves like he once handled our newborn babies.  Oh yeah, and I am having a blast teasing him about his behavior.  To get the full picture, you have to understand that this man does not lose his cool often.  He prides himself on his tough guy demeanor and does not let too many people see the chinks in his armored exterior.  However, watching him jump in his car like a whipped little girl every time the bike store has a sale is better than watching a classic Saturday Night Live skit.  He loves his new hobbies and I love seeing him happy.  He deserves it.

All of this has propelled him to register for his very first triathlon, scheduled for late September.  Registering for a race in September is deliberate because it coincides with the one year anniversary of his kidney transplant.  This is his way of bringing things full circle after a year of so many heartbreaking challenges.  Thanks to his athletic background, the training has not been too strenuous for him.  He just has to get into the practice of doing three different events in one race.  He has hired a swim coach, connected with some cycling buddies and actually came to me, of all people, for running advice.  Imagine that...the master has humbled himself to seek instruction from a mere mortal.  Don't think for one minute that I won't use this as fodder the next time he makes fun of me and my off beat running quirks.  He has now achieved his first running injury and his first big fall on his bike.  Both seemed to have injured his pride more than his body, but at least it has loosened some of his newbie tensions.

I have to remember my role of support while he enjoys this new transition.  In the early days, hubby accompanied me to every race and cheered for me at every finish line like I was a world class athlete.  His unconditional support was the one constant I could count on, even when my running performance was uncoordinated and unpredictable.  Before my confidence grew as a runner, I was childish and superstitious and sometimes down right bitchy when things did not go my way.  Hubby was on the receiving end of a lot of that bad behavior and I feel like I never completely made up for it.  Now I get the chance to repay him for all the times he put his workout plans on hold just so I could take an evening run on the trails.  I can now properly thank him for all the times he played Mr. Mom on his own while I took weekend trips away with the divas to run whatever race of my choice.  For every time he remembered on whatever gift-giving holiday that I am not a "flowers and candy" kind of girl and bought me running shoes instead, I can now show my true appreciation.  I still have to correct myself sometimes, but overall it feels good to give him first pick when it comes to scheduling our workout times.

Even if he only acts like he wants to go for a bike ride or a treadmill run, I try to prioritize his time ahead of mine because it is his turn to come first after playing a supportive role for me so many years.  He is happy and carefree on his bike and it is a beautiful sight to see someone you love light up that way about something so simple.  Hubby has always been that type of supportive and giving guy to a lot of people in his life.  He does not ask for anything in return.  However, I want to make sure he holds on to his new hobbies for his own selfish reasons.  His cycling and running doesn't have to benefit anyone but himself.  It can suck time away during his leisurely weekend hours just because he wants to.  He can splurge his extra dollars on new gear just because it makes him happy.  But most of all, I hope he is able to lose himself in a carefree stroll just for the chance to make his spirit a little lighter.  It's his turn to let go and his time to feel the joy of a great escape.

Weight Loss Report: Month 2

Remember all that boisterous talk about me reaching another 5 pound milestone by the time July 1st rolled around?  When I started out on this weight loss adventure, I vowed to lose 5 pounds a month until I reached my goal weight.  If that would have happened, I would be about half way to the finish line right now.  Confession time...I did not reach that goal this month.  I lost 1 pound in June.  Only 1 pound!  This is painful to admit, let alone put it out there for everyone to know.  Yeah, I am disappointed, but if I am honest with myself I know there were several instances in the past four weeks when I fell off the diet train with gusto.  It is summer time and my entire household has fallen into a nice easy schedule of relaxing and snacking 'round the clock.  I have kept up with my diet journal in an effort to remain within my allotted calorie count, but the contents of it have far more processed snack foods that it should.  A sinful bite here and a sweet taste there adds up quickly.  My freezer is stocked with ice cream and the cookie jar is filled with homemade chocolate chunk cookies for my ever hungry two growing sons.  There have been endless social gatherings with family and friends where margaritas and delicious summer comfort foods were plentiful.  Again, I am not making excuses for my behavior.  I could have done better and I did not.  This is simply an honest inventory of my dietary sins from the last four weeks.

There is an up side I am happy to report, or several actually.  Yes, I have slipped up quite a bit diet-wise during the month of June, but my workouts have been incredible.  I have returned to my strength training routine like a beast and it has started to pay off.  My routine has been a three-day split and I do things slightly different each time.  I have the attention span of a gnat when it is something I don't want to do.  I work all upper body twice a week and legs once per week.  Why legs only once per week?  Running is my first workout love, so between morning runs with my buds and the occasional treadmill excursion my legs get worked in excess.  Last month I spent a great deal of time in the gym just knocking off my body's cobwebs and getting back into a steady routine without my muscles screaming for mercy with each rep.  This month my strength has returned and I can see the early signs of muscle definition.  Yeah!  Nothing strokes your ego better than finally seeing the results of your hard physical labor.  It takes about 12 weeks of regular weight lifting and dieting for your body's strength gains to show up in full glory, so this is truly the early stages.  My body still carries a thick layer of fat, though not a much as it used to.  Things don't jiggle like they did two months ago.  I am still thick, but the thickness is more solid and toned lately.  Put a check mark in the success column for this.  Strength training is paying off.

On a side note, I have to jump back onto my soapbox and start preaching again.  I hear a lot of women complain about the shape of their bodies, no matter how chunky or thin they may be.  We tend to join a gym and spend all our time on a cardio machine we like and sweat for hours, expecting to see some body shaping results.  A very wise young lady (an aerobics instructor) once said that working out exclusively on just cardio will work the hell out of that one part of your body (cardio, i.e. your heart).  You will end up with a very strong heart, but the rest of your body will look pretty much the same as it always has.  My advice from personal experience is that increased muscle tone can benefit every body type.  This is not some newly adopted idea of mine.  I have long preached the benefits of women increasing their muscle mass.   I am just as guilty as anyone about not practicing what I preach in this area.

All the general complaints we have about the female physique can be improved by increasing our muscle mass.  Jiggling thighs, chunks of cellulite, flabby arms, and droopy boobs can be coaxed into better shape with regular strength training.  Not having a gym membership is no excuse to avoid strength training.  Simple old fashioned moves like push ups, squats, lunges and crunches can be done anywhere, anytime, without any equipment.  Bottom line is you have to shoot for the complete package.  You have to eat good nutritious foods, you have to burn fat with challenging cardio sessions and you must include regular strength training to see positive results.  Anyone can lose weight by restricting their calories alone, but their body won't be anything they want to show off because their body's muscle-to-fat ratio will still be lopsided.  No one wants to be skinny enough to be able to fit into a bikini and then too embarrassed to actually walk around in it because of their jiggling flabbiness.

Speed work is now a part of my weekly rotation as well.  I have been forced to do speed intervals on the treadmill (UGH!) because several of the local school tracks have been under repair for weeks.  For a slug like me, the only thing worse than actually doing speed work is having to do said speed work on the revolving belt of a treadmill like a freakin' hamster in a cage.  I breathe louder, I sweat more and my uncoordinated tendencies reach an all time high when I do speed work.  Having all this on display, in a gym, on a treadmill next to other unsuspecting patrons is just plain wrong.  Last week, I ended up on a treadmill next to my son's old first grade teacher and I could tell my sweat droplets flying into her personal space was a wee bit of a distraction for her.  The good news is I have done either a speed interval or a tempo run once per week this past month and it is tolerable enough for me to want to keep it up a little longer.  One welcome benefit is that although my speed sessions are shorter, they burn more calories in less time than my usual back-of-the-pack pace.  The pay off will be revealed whenever I sign up for my next race to see if I can push my limits just a little without too much carnage.

Total up all these developments and the result is that I am down one complete jeans size after two months of effort.  The numbers on the scale are not decreasing as quickly as I would like, but I know the changes are happening because my formerly too tight clothes are becoming wearable again.  My muscle definition is slowly coming into view and I have not given up on speed work just yet.  I have learned the same lesson (again!) that my diet still needs improvement.  Overall I have cleaned up my diet a great deal but I can do so much better.  My house is walking distance from two grocery stores, so keeping a constant stock of fresh fruits and vegetables should be a no-brainer.  My house is also walking distance from roughly 20 or so fast food restaurants, too.  Surely you understand my struggle (wink, wink).  Next month I WILL be down 5 more pounds (yes, I am declaring it!) and I know I will be able to continue to do the same workout efforts barring any illness or injury.  Being on this train for the last two months should mean I have passed a point of no return, pushing me closer to a goal I set weeks ago with no guarantees of success.  I don't want to have to start over again and again like I always have, more discouraged and disgruntled than the times before.  As the saying goes...if you are tired of staring over, then stop giving up.  This will be my new mantra as I head into another month on my weight loss journey.

The Love and Hate of Speedwork

Remember that promise I made to add speedwork to my running schedule this training season?  I stayed true to that promise by doing my first speed session this week.  Big deal, right?  Well, yes, it is a big deal for a slacker like me.  It has been a long time since I last visited a track for any kind of workout session and it shows in every way in my running form and lack of speed.  I have become gradually slower and more plump over the years without speed workouts, and I've had a damn good time in the process.  You won't catch me making excuses for my slow pace or my weight gain from the last few years.  I loved every morsel of calorie rich food I ate and earned every pound I gained like they were lottery prize installments.  However long this little healthy streak I am currently on continues, I will have to own up to my dietary sins and up the ante on my running with weekly speed sessions.

My love/hate relationship with speedwork is long and complicated.  The way I feel about doing hard intense loops around that boring track is similar to the way I feel about taking medicine when I am sick.  I know it is good for me but the actual process of swallowing the pill is bitter at best.  If you want to see me act like a complete child, tell me to do a speed workout and I will come undone.  Lately, my running has not been about intensity or serious effort.  It has become a social escape when I can chit chat with my buds and forget my worries for roughly 40 minutes to an hour.  Speedwork on the other hand involves concentration, effort and a lot of unsexy heavy breathing.  There is nothing fun about looping the same 400-meter track over and over again as my Garmin beeps to tell me to quit dragging my ass.

Nevertheless, even I am mature enough to recognize the merits of track workouts.  Just like with dietary improvements, the results are unmistakably positive when I put in the work consistently.  There was once a time a few years back when several of my buds and I followed an advanced training schedule that included track work, circuit training and good old fashioned calisthenics.  I followed the training schedule for roughly three months and I nailed PRs in various distances that season.  The lesson learned was if I put in the work, I would see the results.  However, the work part is what I have skillfully avoided for the last few years.  Walking onto that track this week meant a lot of cobwebs would have to be dusted off to make the time well spent.  My running buds and I agreed on a simple workout of 5x400-meters, with 200-meter rest breaks in between.  No it wasn't much by super athlete standards, but it promised to kick my lazy butt well enough.

Since the temps in the Houston area have already begun to climb into the mid-90s, our track time had to take place in the early morning hours before the sun was up.  Surprisingly I was actually a bit anxious to get the workout started.  The good thing about doing any speed session is that there is a definite predictability to them. Someone in the group states the workout, the group executes the moves, and then it is over.  Whether it is 4 laps or 14 laps, you know exactly what you are doing and how long it will take.  There is always a warm-up, a cool down and a marked number of fast laps in between.  No chance anyone will accidentally add extra miles (like we sometimes do) onto an uncharted running route.  I vowed ahead of time not to whine or groan as we counted down the laps.  Luckily, there was no chance of me cheating through the workout because one of my running buds just happens to be a personal trainer who never whines or complains.  She ran alongside me, not judging my sloppy stride or loud rhythmic breathing.  She simply kept me on pace and gave me a high-five when it was all over, and I was grateful.

Once we finished, I was more proud of the fact that I didn't complain instead of my actual performance.  Which by the way, my performance sucked but I look forward to seeing my speed interval times drop as the weeks go on this season.  My victory was not in how well I did (or didn't do in my case), but in the fact that I took the first steps to make a necessary change.  My list of goals I made a month ago were rooted in getting me out of my safe comfort zone.  In the past, my husband has also done personal training and one of his philosophies for seeing big improvements in your fitness level is to remain uncomfortable in your workouts.  He always tells me to get uncomfortable, but it did not hit home until recently.  His belief is that if you are comfortable during your workout, then you are not pushing your efforts hard enough.  Working out should feel like work, not a casual comfy stroll through the park.  Your workout should be a hard strenuous effort in order for it to work in your favor.  Yeah it sounds like a cliche, but it makes sense to me after my brain is mush from seemingly endless loops around that dreadful track in the dark hours of the morning.  Let's see if I can apply this to other areas of my life.  I'm going to have to put in the work if I expect to see any changes.  Guess I better get started now to reap the benefits later.

Weight Loss Report: Month 1

A short while ago, I blogged about some weight loss goals I wanted to achieve before the end of this year.  Believe it or not it has been a month since then and I feel the need to reveal my progress report so far.  I have such a long way to go on this little journey that I have to celebrate the little victories along the way or else I might get discouraged.  It helps that I have several friends that have already reached the conclusion of their weight loss journey, so I have been spying on them for motivation.  Yes Tracie S., Jenny B. and Charles E., I am watching you but not at all in a bad way.  Looking to pampered celebrities and unrealistic fitness fads for weight loss does not inspire me.  It's the everyday people that bowl me over as they win their bulge battles while having to get up and go to work all day and manage family and real life pressures.  I see you and I salute you average-everyday-weight-loss-winner-guy.  If you are a fan of the old Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" radio commercials, you will understand that reference.

I am still too embarrassed to reveal my actual weight, but I will tell you I am 5.5 pounds lighter than I was this time a month ago.  Yes, I am making a big deal about that extra ".5" because no matter how small a victory it may be, I still earned it and plan to roll with it, baby.  My intermittent mini-goal was to hit the 5 pounds benchmark by the first of every month until I reach my overall goal.  June 1st is still a week away, so I hit this marker ahead of schedule.  Score one for me!  You can't see the lost pounds much.  No one else has really noticed it either, but I don't care.  I can feel it and it feels just as good as any race medal I have earned over the years.  What exactly did the missing 5 pounds do for me?  For one, I have been able to button up all the pants in my current size comfortably for the first time in a while.  There was no way I was going to go up another pants size.  My little weight loss venture started because I was no longer able to get the button on my pants fly to meet the hole on the other side and zip up without a little sucking in.  Thankfully this is no longer a problem.

One of my other goals was to add back strength training to my workout rotation.  Why did I stop weight training in the first place?  Oh yeah, because I hate going to the gym.  Aside from going to a good yoga class, I don't like being in a closed in space when I am sweaty.  Call me a little neurotic, but sweaty bodies belong outdoors in fresh air.  The worst time of day for me to go to the gym and get on a cardio machine is during that 6pm hour when it is packed with people like myself that come there after work to sweat out all the day's stress, meals and office aromas in a closed space of recirculated air.  Their body odor is a non-attractive mix of everybody they encountered that day and their hot breath smells of everything they digested.  Yuck!

Although I complain about it, I realize it is not their fault.  It is my own little pet peeve to overcome.  So to soften the blow of returning to a consistent gym routine, I have opted to go in the wee hours of the morning when it is completely empty of everything.  When I say early, I mean early.  Twice a week my alarm clock goes off earlier than any sane individual wakes up and I am in the gym about ten minutes after that.  My gym of choice (not my usual gym) is located one red light away from my house, so the lack of traffic is wonderfully predictable at that hour.  Once I am there, the familiarity of the free weights and hammer strength machines comes back to me and my competitive edge takes over.  It is hard to get distracted when the only people in the gym that early are the cleaning crew and the lady at the front desk.  Without any distractions, I have remained fairly focused during those early morning excursions thank Goodness.  The results of this effort should start to become visible after another 5 pounds or so comes off.

Weight loss fads really piss me off.  People tend to get all excited about whatever the latest diet fad may be and follow it to the letter.  They buy the books, the DVDs and make the creator of the diet a billionaire success story.  As soon as they reach their weight loss goal, they go back to eating crap and gain every single pound right back plus a few extra for good measure.  Fads have never worked for me, mostly because I hate doing what everyone else is doing.  My diet that has worked for me so far is broken down into three simple rules that I can live with long term.  First, I eat more whole foods and less processed foods.  That means I actually have to cook and prepare my meals ahead of time so I don't fall prey to the vending machine devil.  I carry an insulated lunch bag everywhere so I can eat on the go.  Second, I had to cut waaay back on my sugar intake.  Being the sugar addict that I am, this means I had to upgrade my drinking habits, breakfast choices, and my Starbucks options to accomodate lower sugar alternatives.  Third, I had to eat more lean protein.  My old vegetarian habits die hard, because I don't usually eat meat with every meal.  However now there is a serving of fish or chicken breast with lunch and dinner each day.  In addition to all this I eat a small meal every 2 to 3 hours (about 6 times a day), so hunger is a non-issue. 

This is nothing earth shattering or unique.  It is good old fashioned Weight Loss:101.  In month 2, I plan to change a few things.  My weight training will go up to three sessions a week and my cardio will become high intensity intervals.  The diet will continue on as-is and hopefully the sugar cravings will eventually disappear (yeah, right!).  Let's make a date to meet back here in a month and by then I hope to be able to announce additional 5 pound loss.  It is going on my calendar as a real appointment, so my super anal organized side will not allow me to break it.  Whether it all goes well or not during this second month, I promise to be honest about my efforts here so I can be honest with myself about what the next chapter will be.  Here's to hoping and working towards the best posible outcome.  Talk to you then.